ROBOROTICA

I don't care if Monday's black, Tuesday, Wednesday: Heart attack, Thursday never looking back, it's Friday and I'm at lunch. Today we at Wolfmania have something very special for your weekend:

Actual Wolfmania exclusives from LCD Soundsystem and The National! A real robot war! R Rated Erratic IT erotica! A Whiskery bear! The Gig Pig returns! A touching tribute! Getting down with the MAMWOO sound! NHS LOLs Vol 2! Euromillionaires! A kitten on a quadbike! A carrot that looks like a penis! And so much more...

Quiz Night!

Q: Where is the best place to find massive LAFFS, monstrous new music, charming chat (both kinds: serious and silly) AND at least 40 minutes of hot nineties guys playing board games?

A: The new ‘Quiz Night’ Episode of Wolfmania The Podcast, of course.   

 In this week’s very special, ever-so-slightly-harrowing, 100 minute monster jam Andrew and Tim pay a surprisingly heartfelt tribute to the great Harry Dean Stanton and Grant Hart (and then ruin it with a still-heartfelt-but-possibly-poor taste musical homage). We help to discover the NHS’ hottest new lie-down comedian, go slamdancing with the Quincy punks, and test our knowledge (and patience) as we play a politically-charged game of Mike Read’s Pop Quiz.

PARTY HARD!

Wolfmania is back! Back! Back! and ready to party. In this very special episode Andrew and Tim park the internet space station in the middle of the Notting Hill Carnival, strap some speakers to the roof and crank out... a surprising amount of Jesus Jones. Dancing policemen, drinks in coconuts and a bloke calling us narcs for wearing a podcast wire to the party parade quickly ensue.

And that's not all, we head over to Kensington Palace, meet the REAL people's Princess, and gnash our teeth over her shock new album. Wolfmania Sports Extra reveals full details of this week's BIG indie rock cricket tournament (September the 9th at Paddington Rec - 1pm start) and tries to up both its firepower and star power by talking two MAJOR stars into playing.

BATTER OF THE BANDS

batterofthebands.png

Next Saturday (at 1pm) it's Batter of the Bands at Paddington Recreation Ground. It'll be like Battle of the Bands but with cricket. Having looked at the pedigree (and age) of some of the people we're up against, our team could definitely use a little firepower (and perhaps some star power) so please spread the word. Rock and roll cricketers VERY MUCH WANTED. Even if that isn't you, why not come down? You'll get a game or have a good time watching.

CRACKPIPE

Andrew and Tim's first album 'Jingles Going Steady - Music From and Inspired by Wolfmania the Podcast' has been banned in Europe. BANNED! It was due out yesterday, but Spotify and iTunes have run scared from the album's alleged "terrible quality" and refused to release it to ravenous rock fans. Upset but unbowed your tuneful twosome seek a second opinion from a very special guest - wild-eyed, world famous iconoclastic music critic JOHNNY CRACKPIPE.

Crackpipe, best known as the firebrand weapon-in-chief of GRISTLE magazine talks us through the record's 27 tracks, his own controversial career, and, frankly, whatever else he likes because he's bloody terrifying.

PLUS! Indoor and outdoor animals! Celebrity Pedalpast Diaries Live! Works Experience! A star of stage and screen! Wolfmania Sports Extra! London 2017! Hypersports! Centaurs! And so much more!

NOTHING!

Famously, Seinfeld was billed as the show about nothing. That was nonsense of course, there were characters, stories and jokes. All the usual boring sell out comedy stuff.

Not so in the 'N' episode of Wolfmania the Podcast. No, in 102 minutes of breathtaking broadcasting we really redefine what it means to natter about nothing. Not-for-profit businesses, numbers stations, new music... Plus! All your favourite features: Celebrity Pedalpast! The Gig Pig! Mistakes and Regrets! A dog show! A wedding disco! The charts! Picking up metal bands at the airport! Gadget Show Alumni! LA hitmakers! A tribute to the greatest city on Earth! Fantasy Superbikes! Drinking in the afternoon! And if you stick around. I mean really stick it out to the end... an actual proper joke. See if you can spot it.

Wolfmania: For the few not the many.

MARC MARON

WTF! Tim and I have reached the half-way point in our incredible chat journey, and this week we were honoured and surprised to get an invite out to LA to meet up with King of the podcast Marc Maron to talk about our craft and our time in the Comedy Store! What the Flip!

Plus! Gavin Rossdale from Bush is stopping on the futon! a cat with a clipboard! Enough new jingles to last three Christmases! Our milkshake brings all the nerds to the yard! Celebrity Pedalpast! The girl on the platform's smile! AND MORE!

Legends of the fail

Andrew and Tim are reunited in the internut space station on the hottest day of the year and celebrate with an extra long, extra sweaty comedy jam.

Marvel at the mysteries of the deep as we explore the depths of Loch Ness! Thrill to the behind-the-music exploits of the legend Luther Grosvenor, Uncover the Scandinavian noir crimebuster Lagerbeck (insert your own umlauts on that).

Plus! the ghost of Leonard Nimoy! KISS live! Country Grandma! Michael Portillo! MORE! MORE! MORE!

K2

What follows bad news? Bad sport and worse weather.

New from Wolfmania and This West Midland Life, K-Town is a podcast that delves into the just-about-beating heart and troubled mind of a middling carpet town a bit South of Birmingham and forty miles east of Wales.

This week's treasure hunt uncovers some thick soup, a surprising amount of Captain Beefheart and a little bit of Mark Clemmit. Plus! pooh sticks on the radio! Live Mini Golf! Everybody learns a lesson!

K-Town

New from Wolfmania and This West Midland Life, K-Town is a podcast that delves into the just-about-beating heart and troubled mind of a middling carpet town a bit South of Birmingham and forty miles east of Wales. Daring, thoughtful storytelling holds hands with vikings, minigolf and cake. Welcome to K-Town. Chapter One: Even a stopped clock tells the right time twice a day.

It Takes One

When Wolfmania is struck by the sidekick strike, Andrew is faced with a dilemma. Strike out solo, or create a CGI Tim out of newspaper, string and a bit of bad back. You know, like they do in the Star Wars films.

This week's fun-filled fifty minutes features BIG CHAT (TM) about jobs, and the most jaw-dropping sentence ever spoken on the radio (or anywhere else) plus, we are joined in studio by internet fashion vlog sensations (yes, that's a thing) The Jersey Boys to learn about 'the 5 jumpers that we should be wearing, literally right now'. OMG! And that's not all! We sneak into an Elbow recording session and hear a new song! J'Accusi! The wedding of the year! Wolfmania Live! Pool Crashers! Mosquito and Big Lips! Street Magic! What are you waiting for? Get downloading...

Iron Men

When Andrew dismisses the band Iron Maiden as military history bores, special guest Eddie Metal demands his right to reply, unveiling his special 'metal map.' But is Eddie really who he claims to be - the biggest heavy metal fan in all of Hampshire - or a prankster from a rival podcast? Find out here!

And that's not all! Following a recent bout of insubordination - the Wolfmania crew go on a team building exercise; finding that, while there is no 'I' in team, there is one in Tim.

HOTTER THAN HELL

Things get HOT! HOT! HOT! in the easier-to-edit / not-quite-ready-for-bed-yet LATE NIGHT version of Wolfmania the Podcast.

This week, in a move likely to cause years of psychological trauma. Andrew catches up with Tim in his childhood bedroom and grills him about his hottest date ever and getting higher than hell. Plus! Heaven and hell! What is English Dim Sum! Harpsichord stories! Hugh Jackman update! And two ASTONISHING songs for you 'Wolfpack's Paradise (Live)' and 'Tim Likes to Get High'!

Warning: contains some bad language and some acting like dicks.

LIVE IN BRIXTON - MONDAY 8 MAY

So. I have been dragged out of hiatus by Jon Shoe from The Cut Ups for ONE LAST JOB next Monday 8 May. That job? Melting a few faces and trying to flog the odd t-shirt at the Brixton Windmill. To ensure that this is a massive success, I will be performing a career-spanning selection of my classic hits and criminally overlooked rarities on a guitar. I also hope to have written two jokes by then, and will do my hair up real pretty, so it will be well worth getting to Brixton early. £5 on the door. No refunds.

Full event information is here on Facebook

and also here on the Windmill website

\m/ Heavy Metal \m/

Like all the best concept albums and toilet paper, Episode H of Wolfmania the Podcast is tough, strong and very, very long.

In this career-high instant classic, Andrew pays tribute to the headbanging heroes of heavy metal, raising a horned goblet to Led Zeppelin, Judas Priest and legendary Loughborough video diarist Chris Needham. Meanwhile, Tim gets a very metal eye test and loses his mind listening to some seriously Satanic sounds.

But that's not all (oh, you're going to wish that was all). We learn the senses-shattering origin stories of some of the greatest super heroes the world has never known: Bell Man and Mr Sand, Hover Boy, mild-mannered Miles Mannling and the sinister Podcaster. Andrew reveals why Holland Hates him. Tim gives an Australian hardware warehouse the business. We find out how much funerals cost. There's a lot of chat about swimming. And a feature on 'how nice Andrew's hair is' completely dies on its arse.

Girls! God! Going to the Toilet!

Already sick and tired of disappointing elections? You need a quick shot of Wolfmania Late Night. That's right, the slightly-less-erratic, marginally-more-erotic older sister show of Wolfmania the Podcast makes a mucky return to the airwaves as Andrew and Tim make like Motley Crue and go Girl! Girl! Girl! crazy.

For those of you who like your late night content a little contentious, the boys shout at the devil in the least expected GOD chat this side of that Nicky Campbell show they have on Sunday morning that you think is going to be all about Grannies getting ripped off when they have their new PVC windows installed, but is actually a boring debate about whether or not we should give the terrorists the oxygen of publicity.Then, after that, we talk about going to the toilet for twenty minutes.

Nothin' But a G Thang

Episode 10 of Wolfmania the Podcast ain't nothin' but a G Thang. And it really is quite a thang. This week Andrew and Tim meet Magneto in an off licence, unearth an unreleased rarity from a mystery Boston grunge band and unleash Geordie Gangster, the greatest song in the history of pop. Twice. But that's not all! We horrify They Might Be Giants, snigger at a bad tattoo and, seeing as how this is Masters week, bring you m-m-m-m-m-mind golf, the zen of Caddyshack and three minutes of instructional hip hop guaranteed to help you lower your handicap. What have the other podcasts done for you this week?