Happy New Year

It's late, you've lost your mates and some old bloke with a beard is bleating on about his albums of the year. No. Not the New Year's Eve Party you're about to go to... It's your one-man, year-end, will-this-do Wolfmania the Podcast.

Episode Y comes in at a miraculously muscular 31 minutes - scientifically proven to be the perfect amount of time for having a large glass of wine in the bath without anyone finding out. So, I'd stay in and do that if I were you. It looks horrible out there.

This week we ask two very important questions: One: Where's Tim? And Two: Could next week really be the last ever episode?!

Jeopardy! 

IT'S CHRIIIIIIIISSTMAAAAAAAAS!

Ho! Ho! Holy sh*t! The Wolfmania Xmas Special is here. And it's seasonally stuffed with all the gifts, gags and years of seething unspoken resentment you'd expect from 51 minutes in the company of your family.

This being a showbiz Christmas, of course, we are joined in studio by some very special guests (no spoilers, but its NEW BLOODY ORDER! doing a totally exclusive Christmas song. Yes. Really!) and at the end there's a big musical number, and everybody learns a lesson.

Plus! X-Wings (we've seen Star Wars. There's hard Porg-talk) X-Men (Will Hugh Jackman honour his booking?) X-clusives - The Wolfmania All-Stars featuring the Hell is for Heroes Choir and two actual members of Bananarama. Bloody hell!

Happy holidays!

NEW MUSIC!

Do you hear what I hear? There's a new Andrew Wolfman record out on Christmas Day. And you can pre-order it at iTunes RIGHT NOW. http://itunes.apple.com/album/id1321749149?ls=1&app=itunes

Critics are calling 'When I Go' a heartbreaking work of staggering genius and pitch black seasonal ill will. A punishing 5 minutes and 17 seconds of DIY death-rock disco. Better than Star Wars. And only 79p.

Bloody hell!

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World of Wolfcraft

Andrew Wolfman's peaceful and solitary existence gets upended when he encounters Timpsy, a young farm-boy with a high midichlorian count. His desire to learn the ways of the Wolf forces Andrew to make a decision that changes their lives forever. Meanwhile, tremble-lips emo Vader, Captain Panto and Vyvyan off the Young Ones lead the New Order in an all-out assault against the 10-man Resistance for supremacy of the galaxy

Oh no, hold on. With a world of 'W's dawning in front of them, Andrew and Timpsy get stuck into a 90 minute game of 'What's in the Box' which opens up a whole world of big questions. Like: "Do you like Paloma Faith" and "Jason Bourne and Matthew Bourne, right? Which one's the assassin and which one does the ballet?" Hilarity and Euro 2008 chat ensues.

These are the things that I will keep.

V.I.P.

After last week's emo disaster-thon Andrew and Tim veer back on to safer ground - half-remembering things from the past, rock hard pizza, plugs for the shop - when they are joined in studio by Very Important Person Mike Nothing.

Mike joins Tim for the pilot of the new BBC Sunday night show 'Round Anglesey with Tim and Mike' while Andrew opens up the Van Halen Time Capsule and unearths a Sausage Revolution.

Featuring for the first-time-online (and possibly the last time) songs by The Fizzy Corporation, The Peasants are Revolting and All Aboard the Eggbasket, this is one for the ages. Well worth sticking with for the bit where, after exactly two hours, Mike Nothing decides he's finally had enough to drink and just walks off to get an Uber. A masterclass in broadcasting.

Bost

Not going to lie, this week's Wolfmania is a pretty difficult listen. It's probably not for the faint hearted.

Speaking of which, this episode Andrew gets some bad news, and struggles to talk about it. Don't worry though, he has no such trouble chatting about the movie S.M.A.R.T. starring Tim, or giving top model David Gandy the business. Oh, and he's written a song. Instead of a will. This is probably quite uneasy listening.

To make matters weirder, in an out-of-character burst of diversity, the boys are joined in studio by an actual woman, their great mate Kitty Somerset. Unfortunately, she has taken a vow of silence - which bodes well for the hot new podcast Kitty, Timpsy and the Dressing Gown Guy.

TRUE BROMANCE

It’s T time in the Encyclopedia of Everything and there’s True Bromance in the air as Andrew and Tim are joined by very-special-guest-host, nineties heart-throb, Christian Slater (Mr Robot, Gleaming the Cube).

Plus! The gang get massively small when they are turned into six-inch Star Wars figures by a mysterious Russian scientist! There’s Trick or Treat trauma in the Wild West Midlands! Trials and Tribulations on the Heritage Rock Trail! Timpsy Time! Throwing up! Weezer! A friendly witch! Jimmy Page toilets! Promotional Drinks Clowns! Paradise Papers the movie! Celebrity Pedalpast! The Smashing Pumpkins! A half-hearted apology! Big Paws the cat gets stuck in a box! Bib Fortuna!

Plus! Literally, unbelievable new music from Patrick Stewart. Yes, that PATRICK STEWART! And the staggering new supergroup Perry, Perry, Perry tackle a club classic.

PIZZA PARTY

It’s someone’s birthday in the Internut Space Station and controls are set for spoiled baby in this week’s very special episode of Wolfmania the Podcast. 

Andrew, Tim and Big Paws throw a big podcast party (and then an even bigger strop when only Dave Storey the rocking Geordie shows up). There is plenty of potential to ‘feel your presence’ as the gang exchange gifts and talk Star Wars, plus a a bit of “no Luke, I am your Father” when one of those gifts turns out to require a DNA sample.

Plus! We unveil the mammoth new heavy metal / David Mamet rock opera Glengarry Glen Danzig! Brainy Fun Time! Celebrity Pedalpast! England’s Finest! Party legends! A Carnival of Souls! Funnel of Spit! And (at 24m 19s) inarguably, the greatest pop song ever recorded… Non-Stop Pizza Party. 

ROBOROTICA

I don't care if Monday's black, Tuesday, Wednesday: Heart attack, Thursday never looking back, it's Friday and I'm at lunch. Today we at Wolfmania have something very special for your weekend:

Actual Wolfmania exclusives from LCD Soundsystem and The National! A real robot war! R Rated Erratic IT erotica! A Whiskery bear! The Gig Pig returns! A touching tribute! Getting down with the MAMWOO sound! NHS LOLs Vol 2! Euromillionaires! A kitten on a quadbike! A carrot that looks like a penis! And so much more...

Quiz Night!

Q: Where is the best place to find massive LAFFS, monstrous new music, charming chat (both kinds: serious and silly) AND at least 40 minutes of hot nineties guys playing board games?

A: The new ‘Quiz Night’ Episode of Wolfmania The Podcast, of course.   

 In this week’s very special, ever-so-slightly-harrowing, 100 minute monster jam Andrew and Tim pay a surprisingly heartfelt tribute to the great Harry Dean Stanton and Grant Hart (and then ruin it with a still-heartfelt-but-possibly-poor taste musical homage). We help to discover the NHS’ hottest new lie-down comedian, go slamdancing with the Quincy punks, and test our knowledge (and patience) as we play a politically-charged game of Mike Read’s Pop Quiz.

PARTY HARD!

Wolfmania is back! Back! Back! and ready to party. In this very special episode Andrew and Tim park the internet space station in the middle of the Notting Hill Carnival, strap some speakers to the roof and crank out... a surprising amount of Jesus Jones. Dancing policemen, drinks in coconuts and a bloke calling us narcs for wearing a podcast wire to the party parade quickly ensue.

And that's not all, we head over to Kensington Palace, meet the REAL people's Princess, and gnash our teeth over her shock new album. Wolfmania Sports Extra reveals full details of this week's BIG indie rock cricket tournament (September the 9th at Paddington Rec - 1pm start) and tries to up both its firepower and star power by talking two MAJOR stars into playing.

BATTER OF THE BANDS

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Next Saturday (at 1pm) it's Batter of the Bands at Paddington Recreation Ground. It'll be like Battle of the Bands but with cricket. Having looked at the pedigree (and age) of some of the people we're up against, our team could definitely use a little firepower (and perhaps some star power) so please spread the word. Rock and roll cricketers VERY MUCH WANTED. Even if that isn't you, why not come down? You'll get a game or have a good time watching.

CRACKPIPE

Andrew and Tim's first album 'Jingles Going Steady - Music From and Inspired by Wolfmania the Podcast' has been banned in Europe. BANNED! It was due out yesterday, but Spotify and iTunes have run scared from the album's alleged "terrible quality" and refused to release it to ravenous rock fans. Upset but unbowed your tuneful twosome seek a second opinion from a very special guest - wild-eyed, world famous iconoclastic music critic JOHNNY CRACKPIPE.

Crackpipe, best known as the firebrand weapon-in-chief of GRISTLE magazine talks us through the record's 27 tracks, his own controversial career, and, frankly, whatever else he likes because he's bloody terrifying.

PLUS! Indoor and outdoor animals! Celebrity Pedalpast Diaries Live! Works Experience! A star of stage and screen! Wolfmania Sports Extra! London 2017! Hypersports! Centaurs! And so much more!

NOTHING!

Famously, Seinfeld was billed as the show about nothing. That was nonsense of course, there were characters, stories and jokes. All the usual boring sell out comedy stuff.

Not so in the 'N' episode of Wolfmania the Podcast. No, in 102 minutes of breathtaking broadcasting we really redefine what it means to natter about nothing. Not-for-profit businesses, numbers stations, new music... Plus! All your favourite features: Celebrity Pedalpast! The Gig Pig! Mistakes and Regrets! A dog show! A wedding disco! The charts! Picking up metal bands at the airport! Gadget Show Alumni! LA hitmakers! A tribute to the greatest city on Earth! Fantasy Superbikes! Drinking in the afternoon! And if you stick around. I mean really stick it out to the end... an actual proper joke. See if you can spot it.

Wolfmania: For the few not the many.

MARC MARON

WTF! Tim and I have reached the half-way point in our incredible chat journey, and this week we were honoured and surprised to get an invite out to LA to meet up with King of the podcast Marc Maron to talk about our craft and our time in the Comedy Store! What the Flip!

Plus! Gavin Rossdale from Bush is stopping on the futon! a cat with a clipboard! Enough new jingles to last three Christmases! Our milkshake brings all the nerds to the yard! Celebrity Pedalpast! The girl on the platform's smile! AND MORE!

Legends of the fail

Andrew and Tim are reunited in the internut space station on the hottest day of the year and celebrate with an extra long, extra sweaty comedy jam.

Marvel at the mysteries of the deep as we explore the depths of Loch Ness! Thrill to the behind-the-music exploits of the legend Luther Grosvenor, Uncover the Scandinavian noir crimebuster Lagerbeck (insert your own umlauts on that).

Plus! the ghost of Leonard Nimoy! KISS live! Country Grandma! Michael Portillo! MORE! MORE! MORE!

K2

What follows bad news? Bad sport and worse weather.

New from Wolfmania and This West Midland Life, K-Town is a podcast that delves into the just-about-beating heart and troubled mind of a middling carpet town a bit South of Birmingham and forty miles east of Wales.

This week's treasure hunt uncovers some thick soup, a surprising amount of Captain Beefheart and a little bit of Mark Clemmit. Plus! pooh sticks on the radio! Live Mini Golf! Everybody learns a lesson!

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